If you think you've been abused, or may have been abused, by a priest, minister, or other faith leader, these are some resources that might be helpful. I'm also including resources for those who wish to learn more about this issue.
As I've said elsewhere, I'm not an expert or a mental health professional. All I have to offer is my own experience and what I've found helpful or useful in my own experience as a survivor of clerical abuse who has chosen to remain Catholic.
Listed below are links to resources with a brief description. I will update this page as I come across new resources (if you know of any that I missed, please mention them in the comments).
If you'd like to see what I've written on the subject, click here.
(Housekeeping note: Except where I'm recommending a site in its entirety, referrals to content on other sites recommend only the particular article I'm linking to as insightful or helpful on this issue. I'm not necessarily recommending the site or channel otherwise).
(Housekeeping note: Except where I'm recommending a site in its entirety, referrals to content on other sites recommend only the particular article I'm linking to as insightful or helpful on this issue. I'm not necessarily recommending the site or channel otherwise).
Legal Resources and Practical Support
An organization that exists solely to help survivors of abuse perpetrated by Roman Catholic clergy get in touch with legal, media, and practical/safety resources. They don't provide these services themselves but rather maintain connections with law firms, journalists, and organizations that do. Everything is done only with express written permission from the people they're working with.
Websites and Blogs
A pretty decent resource, though it may be overwhelming if you're just beginning to heal. I'd recommend just focusing on finding the particular information you're looking for (and avoiding the story sections if you're sensitive or have any abuse triggers-- I found the vast majority of them really upsetting and hard to read).
Especially good for general guidance and advice on how to begin reporting what happened to you to the authorities, and it has a pretty good page on identifying how predators in authority groom adult victims.
A blog dedicated to informing those interested in supporting and fighting for victims of clerical abuse in the Catholic Church while remaining members of the Catholic Church. Not a lot of practical help, but good for not feeling so alone, and a place to connect with someone who is actively trying to make a difference.
Website outreach for the diocese of Milwaukee aimed at educating people about the circumstances surrounding clerical abuse in the Catholic Church and sharing the stories of those who have suffered abuse.
They occasionally host online seminars featuring those who have been on the front lines against the abuse crisis, and also occasional zoom meetings for survivors of abuse from all over the United States to meet people who have been through something similar. If you're a survivor and these meetings seem like something that would be helpful, I highly recommend getting in contact with them.
NetGrace.org
Though aimed primarily at a Protestant Christian audience, many of the articles on this site are still informative and relevant to those who have suffered or encountered abuse in a Catholic setting. Note that most of the resources seem aimed at spotting and addressing sexual abuse of children, but as a survivor of abuse committed when I was an adult, I still found much here that was interesting and enlightening.
For any Protestant pastors or ministers who have found their way to this page, this seems like a fantastic resource for formulating best practices for addressing any abuse that arises in your church (something that Catholic dioceses in the United States are required to do-- though they don't always do it well).
Though aimed primarily at a Protestant Christian audience, many of the articles on this site are still informative and relevant to those who have suffered or encountered abuse in a Catholic setting. Note that most of the resources seem aimed at spotting and addressing sexual abuse of children, but as a survivor of abuse committed when I was an adult, I still found much here that was interesting and enlightening.
For any Protestant pastors or ministers who have found their way to this page, this seems like a fantastic resource for formulating best practices for addressing any abuse that arises in your church (something that Catholic dioceses in the United States are required to do-- though they don't always do it well).
This is more this specific blog post than the whole blog, which I haven't yet had time to explore. The author is a priest who spoke to hundreds of survivor victims of clerical sexual assault, and noticed certain patterns in their stories. This is a piece aimed at priests, warning them of some common elements that he believes have led to priests becoming abusers. I think it's a good read for both priests and laity.
TRIGGER WARNING: abortion and sexual abuse. This is the story of a friend of mine, and I'm including it here because she does an excellent job outlining the grooming process (especially how it can occur in spiritual contexts) and the particular obstacles female survivors tend to face. It also illustrates the demonic and sacrilegious nature of this type of abuse more clearly than any other story I've ever read.
Books
Written by someone who has faced his own deep disillusionment after being taken advantage of and betrayed by a group in the Church, this is a good book for those who want to remain Catholic, but aren't sure how to reconcile what happened to them with membership in the Church. This offers a way forward.
Dawn Eden Goldstein is a respected Catholic author who has written pretty extensively on living with and healing from memories of sexual trauma, abuse, and PTSD, especially from the perspective of someone who suffered abuse in childhood.
I haven't had a chance to read this one, but I do follow the author's blog on occasion. She was sexually abused by a priest as a young teen, and so is unique in this book list for having direct experience with this sort of trauma. I've heard good things about this book from people I know, and I think it'd be very helpful for a lot of survivors.
This one is more for those interested in learning more about this issue than those who have survived it.
I didn't know that there was someone out there who captured so very perfectly what it's like to be groomed in a "spiritual" way for sexual assault by someone you see as a spiritual mentor. This is a work of fiction, but the author captured that particular experience almost perfectly.
No graphic sex scenes or anything, but I'd still put a hefty trigger warning on this for the grooming stuff. The whole book is available for free at the link (I got the link from the author's website, so everything is above board).
Support Groups
I'm not fortunate enough to live in or near enough to a diocese that hosts one of these support groups, but you might be. An in-person support group that ministers to anyone who has suffered sexual abuse, but specifically mentions the needs of survivors of clerical abuse in particular.
Awake Milwaukee and SNAP both host virtual/ over the phone support groups or survivor get togethers as well.
Awake's support groups are more geared towards those who have chosen to remain connected to the Catholic Church in some capacity (though they will help those who have not and connect them with resources), SNAP is an organization that reaches out to people from all faith traditions that have clergy or pastors and offers support. Many people in SNAP have chosen to leave the faith tradition they came from and no longer practice their faith (though there are also many that still do).
If you know of any resources I've missed, please mention them below in the comments.
Page last updated 3/21/2023. I update the page as I come across or create new resources, or as I realize something needs to be edited (it happens!).
I can hardly believe what I am reading! I am right there with you, sister. Abused by a priest as an adult and still practicing the Catholic faith. My heart raced as I read your article on Catholic Mom, and I read so quickly because I could hardly believe I was reading the words of another red-blooded survivor! I haven't come across many blogs or sites by fellow survivors of clergy sex abuse of women. I look forward to reading through your blog. I haven't worked on mine for a long time, but it's there. God bless!
ReplyDeleteWelcome! I'll be sure to check your blog out as well. I'm glad my writing was helpful!
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