Christmas, Scams, and Cold (But not as cold as most of y'all)

 

Merry Christmas! 

1.) But who is the REAL scammer here? 

 Check on who your elderly relatives text with on the phone. Or your just plain naive relatives. 

I got a text I thought was a wrong number yesterday. Turns out, it was a "cold call" from someone trying to steal money. I teamed up with my brother who's got some computer know-how, and we were able to get some information that will hopefully bring these people down, or at least make it more difficult for them to operate. 

I pretended to be an elderly retired philosophy professor named "Sam" who was quite insistent that this mystery woman learned Stoic philosophy. The "wrong number" presented themselves as a young entrepreneur from Texas who specialized in cryptocurrency. 

It was a bit of a waste of a couple hours, though my brother assured me that wasting these people's time limits their ability to get other people on the line and scam them, so I may have at least saved someone from losing their savings. 

The conversation got a little weird at times. I'm surprised they never called my bluff. 

We got into some psuedo-philosophy and "sensory experience" (whatever that means).. 

I warned her about Jimmy...

My favorite moment was when I got them to accidentally blow their cover story. 

Eventually, I let my brother take over, because I had other stuff to do. 

It was kinda fun, but I felt uncomfortable lying as much as I did. I think next time, I'll probably see how long I can keep them going just by being a more obtuse version of myself. 

But seriously...keep an eye on grandma (or anyone else particularly vulnerable in your life). My brother told me he was able to find out this particular scammer is based in Hong Kong, and, based on the IP they were using and networking with other people who track this stuff, is responsible for stealing at least $25,000 from people. 

2.) Sugar, Sugar

I made lemon bars, whiskey balls, and tiramisu yesterday. 

The whiskey balls entailed tossing some gingersnaps, pecans, and powdered sugar into the food processor, mixing it with whiskey and corn syrup, then forming it into balls. Super simple to make. 

The lemon bars involved baking a shortbread cookie base and then covering it with a lemon custard. A bit more complex, but still pretty simple to execute. 

The tiramisu was a nightmare. 

Turns out, it involves cooking egg yolks mixed with sugar over very low heat on a double boiler, whisking continuously for ten minutes, then beating in some very thick marscepone cheese, then ever so gently folding in whipped cream. 

My biceps got a serious workout. 

Then you have to brush coffee onto these very crispy, delicate lady finger cookies (dipping turns said cookies into unusable soggy mush which I found out the hard way), then layer the very thick goop on, then cookies again, then more goop. 

The dirty dishes this thing produced, and the surprising amount of sheer physical commitment, took me by surprise. I did not realize what I was signing up for when I decided to make this. 

I'm not sure if I'll ever make it again. We'll see if the taste justifies the work. 

3.) Cold 

It's not as spectacular as the temperatures many of y'all are seeing, but it's still cold enough down here to wreck some havoc. 

We managed to weather the first night of the freeze without any damage (despite a middle of the night blackout and a sudden necessary change over to the portable propane heater) but my parents weren't so lucky. We had to cancel our normal Christmas Eve family get together because the main water line to their house broke. They may not have running water until after Christmas. And we've still got at least one more night to go. 

I covered up my baby turnips and beets with hay yesterday, but I'm not sure how warm it kept them, or how long they can survive without sunlight. I'm hoping to uncover them tomorrow. We'll see what happens. 

4.) Chicken no more 

We finally culled our chickens. 

The birds weren't laying dependably, and as they're livestock and not pets we couldn't really justify the cost of their feed anymore. We've been looking at replacing them with a breed that lays eggs better for a longer period of time, but before we do that, their dilapidated and shoddy run needs to be completely re-done. Part of it was made up of a dog kennel that my in-laws want back and have been asking for. 

So Chris grabbed a .22, went out there, and took care of business. Killing chickens is never fun, but I'm glad it at least went quickly. 

He's already pulled out pretty much the entire fence, and has trimmed back a lot of the brush that was in there. There's some junk we tossed in there for the birds to climb on that we've got to toss out, and we're going to re-arrange the coop and feed house, but it's already looking a little cleaner and neater over there. 

We're hoping to get a new flock this spring. I'll keep you posted. 

And that's the news that's fit to print around here. All of you have a Merry Christmas, and I'll see you in the new year.