Cheese Curds, Clumsiness in Church, and a Party Crashing Saint

 This past week, I had the great honor and privilege to meet with some dear friends in person for the first time. We've all been interacting with one another online for about a year in a support group, but only a couple of us had gotten to meet in person, and we really wanted to see one another face to face and spend some time together.

 All of us have either experienced sexual abuse in the Church or work closely with those who do, and the graces that flowed from our time praying and talking together were very potent and real. God is good. 

I'm going to do a write up or two on that aspect of it after I write this one (honestly, I'm still processing it all), but in the meantime, here's a more light hearted look at our adventures. 

1.) Hospitality 

One of the members of our group (named Stella Maris after Our Lady, Start of the Sea) bravely offered to host five ladies and a baby that she'd never met in person before, and so we all traveled to Wisconsin and took over her house for the weekend. 

That became home base, and the place  where we all ate a bunch of cheese curds, laughed until our sides hurt, and discovered to our great joy that we all liked each other in person as much or more than we liked each other online. 

In all the talk about the need to value "real" friendships over "virtual" ones, there's not a lot of credence given to the idea that they can be one and the same thing. It takes effort and work, but the truth is that very real and valuable connections can be made without ever meeting in person. It was nice to see that was the case- we all felt like old friends immediately. 

That said, meeting in person was MUCH nicer than trying to talk and connect over Zoom. 

2.) Very Pretty Church- Loud Sink 

Screenshot of a picture one of the other ladies took, because that's the only way I could get it to come through upright. Image used with permission. 

One of the first places we visited was this very pretty church to meet a priest for prayer and confession. 

I'm not sure why-- maybe the area I come from is historically poorer, culturally different, or more recently settled-- but there aren't very many ornate old Churches in this style in South Texas. So getting to explore one was pretty special for me. 

Unfortunately, being an old Church in the Midwest, it wasn't air conditioned. This wasn't a huge inconvenience as it doesn't get much past the mid 80s up there in the summer, but after awhile I became really thirsty. 

For whatever reason, I couldn't find the bathroom right away. I ended up going down to the basement hall, Bitty Baby in tow in a carrier on my chest, where the parish had set up an Adoration chapel with folding screens on one side, just a little ways away from the kitchen area, tables, and high chairs you normally find in parish halls. The kitchen area wasn't in its own room: it was just sort of right in the middle.  Two or so older people, old enough to be retired and grandparents but not old enough for those grandchildren to be in college, sat praying behind the screens, which were parted in the middle. The first thing you saw coming down those basement stairs was the Blessed Sacrament in the monstrance. 

I was feeling a little desperately dehydrated by this point. Spotting a glass in the dry rack, and one of those soap brush things in the sink, I turned on the tap. 

Do you know what a powerful industrial grade water spigot sounds like on a deep metal sink in a dead quiet parish hall doubling as an Adoration chapel? 

It sounds like a jack hammer.

 Actually getting a drink wasn't so bad, but when I had to wash the cup I couldn't catch the water in the much quieter glass anymore.  

THRUB THRUB THRUB THRUB....SPLASH!!

I put the glass back in the dry rack and made my way up the stairs as quickly and quietly as I could, managing to avoid any judgmental stares from the adorers. 

At the top of the stairs, I finally found the bathroom-- a tiny room no bigger than a closet. I yanked open the old wooden door and went inside, then closed it behind me a little too quickly. 

"BANG!!" Echoing and reverberating up into the high, very good acoustics of the pointed gothic ceiling in the main sanctuary. 

I guess I can't blame the toddlers for our family's ruckus in Church anymore. 

3.) Poor, Poor Kitty. 

Exploding Kittens is one of those card games that middle school boys play at full volume and laugh uproariously at. 

Turns out, when a bunch of women with an average age of about 35 play it, it's about the same result. Even sans alcohol. 

This card in particular won a place in our hearts, for some reason that's hard to define. It may or may not end up on a future group t-shirt. 

4.)  Blsd. Solanus Casey-- Party Crasher

This is getting into the more "real" graces of our trip (one of many), but it was an unexpected and random enough story that I think it bears mentioning here. 

 For some reason, I forget how the conversation started, one of the ladies present started talking about Blessed Solanus Casey and how she had a devotion to him. One of the other ladies mentioned that she owned a second class relic of his, and our host suddenly remembered that his first mass took place at a parish about a fifteen minute drive away and they had a prayer garden dedicated to him. 

So that's how we found ourselves pulling up in downtown Appleton and running through pouring rain to a garden. 

It was actually a very beautiful moment. The woman who first mentioned having a devotion to him has an intention she's been praying for for a very long time, and we were able to pray for his intercession together for that intention. 

We also spotted some grapes growing on the entrance to the garden and she ate one. If her intention is granted, we'll know it was the grape. 

And, you know, the fact that one of the Church Triumphant decided to randomly show up at the party. Not that any of us minded. 

5.) Marian Apparition Shrine and an Unusual Souvenir 

On Sunday we decided to attend mass at the shrine of Our Lady of Good Hope. 

The only approved Marian apparition site in the United States, it has lots of pretty grounds, a couple nineteenth century red brick buildings, some really cool relics (Sts. Peter AND Paul, among others), and a VERY blond statue of Mary in their hall/conference center. 

We spent a wonderful few hours there. As we were leaving, I noticed that the farmhouse bordering the Shrine grounds had a hand painted sign on an obviously homemade farm stand with a few jars on it. 

"APPARITION DIRT. $10." 

And another sign nearby, 

"THE PERFECT SOUVENIR" 

Just like the old pilgrimage sites in Europe, some enterprising locals have found some way to manufacture holy relics for the pious people visiting. If nothing else, I think the signs make for a more authentic (and amusing) experience- something that connected us to pilgrims at holy sites across the world. 

I passed on the chance to own some holy dirt. I have trouble keeping my house clean as it is-- adding a jar of dirt to the clutter is just madness, holy or not. 

6.) The Chosen

One thing we did a lot of was watch The Chosen. The only Jesus show I've ever seen with genuine entertainment value and characters you can get invested in (like...my ex-Catholic agnostic friend told me he got through watching the whole first season  unironically). 

Two of us had seen the second season but the rest had not. We didn't get through the whole show this time either, but what we did watch helped lead to some good discussions and provided a mental break from some of the more heavy duty conversations we were having. 

For people with a strong reason to be disillusioned with Christ but trying to reestablish a relationship, seeing a genuinely likeable (read: not stoned out cult leader or naive hippie) version of Him was actually pretty helpful. Even though it's an actor and director's interpretation, and we know that, it sparked a lot of reflection on what He IS actually like. And I think it's a pretty safe conclusion that He actually does have a gently ironic sense of humor. 

7.) Ikea!!

Not one of the parts of the trip proper I suppose, since it happened after most of us were already heading home at this point, but I got to take my first-ever trip to an Ikea with one of the other ladies. 

And we had way more fun than we probably should have. 

She was there to search for a dresser for her daughters, I was there because it was on the way to the airport, I'd never been, and I wanted to go and see what all the fuss was about. 

I found it equal parts awe inspiring, confusing, and utterly novel.

Awe inspiring because of the sheer size of the place. We spent a solid two hours in there and only saw a fraction of the store, wandering through its labyrinth interior filled with phantom rooms and creative product displays. I kept expecting David Bowie to pop out surrounded by muppets: the place is grand, uncanny, and twisty enough to be the setting for an alternative fantasy story. 

Confusing because it is so obviously European, and seems rabidly willing to protect that image at all costs. Why were there multiple copies of books written in Swedish laying around so many of the phantom room displays? 

Do they manage to sell any of them? I even saw a copy of "Go Set a Watchman" in Swedish, which is a novel about race relations and compromise in the American South. The journey that book went through in traveling overseas, getting translated into a foreign language, and then getting shipped back to it's native country in a language the vast majority of the populace doesn't speak boggles the mind.

Novel because, dangit, all those things kinda...work. I genuinely enjoyed eating Swedish food in a cafeteria decorated with words I didn't understand, and wandering through the countless displays. It really had a flavor of visiting a foreign country where everything is just a little bit different, and I see why it's a successful business model.  I'd be open to visiting one again. 

It helped that I was exploring it with someone I genuinely enjoy being around too. I doubt I would have enjoyed it as much if I'd gone by myself. 

I already miss these women, and I'm hoping we can get together again soon. This article is a bit tongue in cheek, but there were several very deep, real, beautiful things that we encountered together and that changed all of us. I'll try to write about some of those soon. 

See the rest of this week's takes here.