Mental Health, Rouge Paintbrushes, and Chore Charts

 

 

1.) Trying to Limit my Phone Usage

"Whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report: think on these things."

It's been an ongoing battle for awhile now, but with the absolute raging dumpster fire that social media has become in the last couple weeks or so (even more so than usual), I'm trying to get completely out of it for the sake of my sanity. (I'm keeping my accounts open to promote stuff from this blog, but I'm doing my level best to keep it at that). 

So I wrote up a plan, stuck a Scripture verse on there that pretty succinctly sums up why I'm doing this, and I'm trying to stick to it. 

Pretty spotty success so far, but I'm trying to keep at it. I notice that I'm a much nicer person to my kids and husband when I haven't been staring at a screen listing everything that's wrong with the world (and chronicling a bunch of idiots screaming at each other about it) all day. 

2.) The Magnet System

We've actually had a version of this around for awhile. It's a magnetic responsibility chart I found at a thrift store (and made new magnets for out of packing tape, paper, and those flat business card magnets that list phone numbers for the local plumber or library or whatever) that the kids can use to track their chores and earn money for doing them. Seeing as it's a new year and all, I figured that it could use an upgrade. 

I added some new chores to the chart, and wrote out index cards for each one detailing the exact criteria for finishing the job to earn a magnet and put the cards up around the house. When the kids complete the job, I put a magnet on the board and they earn a few cents according to their age (a nickle for Little Boy, three pennies for Little Girl) per magnet at the end of the week. Every now and again, I take them to the Dollar Tree or thrift store to buy something with their earnings. 

Most chores are freely chosen, but they have to clean their room by the end of a timer, or I go in their room with a laundry basket, and anything left on the floor gets put into "time out"in my closet for a couple weeks. I've only had to follow through with that twice; generally they manage to complete the job on time. 

The system will need some continued tweaking as they get older, but it seems to be working out well so far. They're already (mostly) cheerfully and competently doing way more than I did at their age. 

3.) Therapy 

 I'm at a point where I need therapy again, and I started this past week. 

I went for about a year after I first got married to learn how to manage OCD symptoms, and it was really helpful. I made a lot of progress, but Chris suddenly lost his job, and the counseling coincidentally was right at a point where things felt like they were at a standstill. For the most part, I felt comfortable stopping, though there were one or two things that I never could quite figure out. 

Then, about two or three years after I stopped going, some trauma memories came up from college that explained a LOT. Turns out that joining what amounted to a Catholic flavored cult on campus (complete with exploitation of labor, emotional and mental manipulation, and, for some members, sexual abuse) along with getting sexually assaulted by a monk/campus chaplain/spiritual director connected to said cult can leave you with some baggage. 

Who knew? 

It's been about two years since that stuff came up. I did go to one session right after I realized what had happened, but I've mostly been coping (and actually managing to heal quite a bit) on my own and with the help of a support group for victims of clerical assault. 

Being pregnant with my third seems to have brought some stuff up to the surface again though (I blame the hormones...though the general insanity of 2020 hasn't helped either), and my anxiety symptoms have flared up a bit, so I'm biting the bullet, we're dipping into our savings, and I'm going to try and learn some coping and processing techniques from a professional. 

Prayers appreciated. 

4.) Well...This is New. 

Unlike most of Little Girl's fits of destruction, this one was not associated with a tantrum. Evidently, she just got bored and decided to stick a paintbrush through the drywall. 

Go figure. 

5.) Duolingo Review

As part of my quest to get the heck off of social media (and because I live in an area where Spanish is a common primary language), I've resurrected my Duolingo account on my phone. 

It's a well done program, especially for being free. If you're a homeschooling mom, I'd recommend it if you have older kids (6th grade and above). There used to be an unmonitored forum that people could ask questions on that I wouldn't let kids near (I'm the kind of mom that isn't going to let her kids have a smart phone until they're at LEAST 17), but it seems to currently only be accessible in the form of leaving comments on individual questions on a lesson. I checked one or two, and the conversation seemed pretty limited to the language question at hand, and it was only accessible if you clicked on a particular speech bubble icon. I'd still keep an eye on things, but the setup doesn't seem to lend itself to abuse too easily. 

I have no idea if the open access forum is still available on the website. 

Part of the app is a series of stories that you listen to, read, and answer questions for, and they feature a cast of recurring characters. I actually really enjoy these; they're good for practicing listening comprehension and they're a lot of fun.

 A word of warning if you lean more conservative though, two of the recurring characters in the Spanish lesson stories are a married lesbian couple. There isn't anything overtly sexual or graphic and they keep the vocabulary clean (the lowest recommended age for users is only 13), but if you decide to use this for your kids, just be aware those stories exist. I haven't ruled out the app for my kids based on that, but I will probably wait to introduce it until after we've already established a line of communication about that particular issue. 

There's also a version of the app specifically designed for younger kids on the Apple store, but as a lowly Android user I haven't been able to explore it. 

6.) Medicaid, Obamacare, and Community Clinics

I haven't been in with a Primary Care Physician in quite some time, and my midwife has been telling me that I really ought to, so I got out my Obamacare insurance card and started looking to see who was in network. 

Long story short, it seems like the only places that accept Affordable Healthcare Act insurance are those that also accept Medicaid. Most of these clinics sound like a circle in the depths of Hell. Google reviews were all less than three stars and all mentioned two month long waits to get an appointment due to overbooking, multiple hour long waits in the waiting room once you did get in, and indifferent and rude staff and doctors...so, all the worst parts of the DMV multiplied, plus sick people. 

The only one I could find with mostly positive reviews was the community health clinic that started out as an HIV/AIDS clinic and is still THE LBGTQ sexual health clinic in town, though they've expanded to also offer general primary health care and pediatrics. I figured I could live with that; I mean, healthcare is healthcare, and there's nothing wrong with giving it to people that need it. 

Then I saw that they run a Planned Parenthood-esque program for teens teaching them how to have safe gay sex.

So that was a no-go. 

(If you have an STI, you should be able to get treatment for it. But I can't condone an organization giving approval and tutorials on how to engage in a "less risky" version of the behavior that causes the STIs, Catholic moral teaching aside.

I mean, we don't tell kids "just have one or two and then drive" or even "Designate a designated driver if you're going to engage in underage drinking." We tell them not to drink.)

I finally found a single name attached to a single address (a doctor NOT part of a massive clinic) buried somewhere near the bottom middle of the list. His smaller clinic doesn't seem to be run quite so hellishly according to Google, so I'm going to cast my lot with them. I have to go in and physically fill out a packet of paperwork to register there, rather than being able to do so online or over the phone, and I'm wondering if that has something to do with limiting the amount of patients he has.  

I'm not sure what I'll do if they don't work out. The whole thing is honestly pretty intimidating. I now  understand why ERs are so overused. 

7.) I Found a Silver Lining to Masks! 

"Doctor in the Fight Against Ebola in Sierra Leone" by Defence Images is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Turns out that they make it pretty difficult to recognize casual acquaintances at the grocery store, or at least gives both parties a pretty valid excuse to pretend like they don't recognize each other. 

I'm the kind of person who sees an acquaintance in public and thinks,

"Please don't let them notice me, please don't let them notice me, please don't let them...

((unfortunate eye contact is made))

Hi, Mrs. Hutton, I'm fine thanks. How are you? Yes, my parents do still live nearby." 

But with masks, it's so much easier to pretend that you don't recognize them and to get by undetected. No awkward forced conversation, no trying to find a way to politely leave said conversation while placating a toddler, no false promises to get in touch soon. 

I walked right by a teacher from my high school today in the meat section of the store. I went by totally unnoticed, like a ship in the night, sliding by the coolers of chicken thighs and pre-seasoned chops like a silent wraith.

It was glorious. 

Bonus Take: 

I've managed a "serious" post two weeks in a row! 

Check out the rest of this week's Quick Takes here.