"The Fainting Couch" by Glen Bledsoe is licensed under CC BY 2.0
Dr. Eve Rosno graciously agreed to an interview as a source for an article I'm working on.
I thought she had a lot of good insights, and that it would be good to reproduce the interview here in its entirety (with her permission).
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Emily: What is your full name, education and degrees, and current job title/ specialization?
Dr. Rosno: "Eve Rosno, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist (not currently practicing) I worked as a psychologist for 13 years for Catholic Social Services of Southern Nebraska. I’m currently not practicing psychology. I am married and we have 4 kids 5, 7, 9, and 11 that I am home with now."
Emily: Common grooming techniques for pedophiles usually include grooming the child's family to gain their trust as well as make it more difficult for the child to speak up. Are there any substantial differences in the grooming techniques for someone looking to abuse or take advantage of an adult (versus a minor)? If so, what are they?
Dr. Rosno: I would say common grooming techniques for adults would be similar - gaining trust by time spent together and a gradually increasing amount of emotional sharing. There is often a step by step of deeper and deeper levels of emotional connecting. Back and forth, I share a little - you share a little. I share a little deeper - you share a little deeper. Emotional and spiritual connecting lends itself to a tendency towards physical connecting (as is natural with all human relationships).
There are likely to be a lot of “building up”, compliments, finding a void not met with other relationships and seeking to fill it. They often will set up a relationship where they make themselves indispensable - make the victim need them and not be able to imagine life without them. They may seek to discredit or criticize other important people in their life. For example, they may lead someone to believe their spouse or friends can’t be trusted, or that their family members are out to get them. The only safe person is the abuser.
Emily: It seems like a lot more attention has been paid lately towards sexual abuse and abuse of power in professional office settings by employers over their (usually female) employees. In your opinion, are these situations similar to cases where a priest or pastor abuses one of their adult parishioners? Why or why not?
Dr. Rosno: I think the situation is similar in some ways but different in others. There is a power differential in both situations but it is a very different dynamic. There is a sense of vulnerability with a priest or pastor as the victim has likely confided very personal information to them and the potential for blackmail is there. The sharing (often an inappropriate over-sharing) may forge an artificial sense of connection. With both situations there is a sense of authority and a desire to please the other person. With the priest or pastor, there may come an extra sense of shame regarding sharing the misconduct due to the spiritually inappropriate nature of the relationship.
Emily: There seems to be a very strict code of ethics surrounding professional therapists and psychiatrists: there seems to be a pretty strict taboo against them having a role or friendship in their patient's lives outside of their office, and it seems to be especially taboo to have any sort of romantic relationship. Would the vulnerabilities that make that type of discretion necessary also be present in a spiritual director or confessor relationship between a pastor and his parishioner? (Ethics of a priest breaking his vow of celibacy aside (though that's also obviously an issue), I'm most interested in the power dynamics in this sort of relationship).
Dr. Rosno: Yes, psychologists and counselors are prohibited from having a personal relationship friendship and especially romantic with clients. This is to not interfere with the therapeutic relationship or to present any kind of undue influence on the client.
I think the risks with spiritual directors or confessors are similar but have differences. As mentioned above, there are clear authority/power aspects of the relationship that create unique dynamics. However, priest serve as confessors to all parishioners and it’s not realistic to expect a priest to have no personal relationships/friendships with any of his parishioners. Obviously a romantic relationship would always be inappropriate for other reasons. However, I think boundaries are critical for any type of interpersonal interaction between a priest or pastor and parishioners. I would set similar boundaries as for married people with persons of the opposite sex.
I encourage people to not be secluded with someone of the opposite sex - this avoids the near occasion of sin, the possibility of scandal, and limits the opportunity for any type of abuse to happen. Avoid unnecessary personal conversations - especially conversations that you would not feel comfortable sharing the transcripts of with a close friend or spouse. Only share at the level necessary for the spiritual work being focused on.
Do not engage in private messages, text messages etc regarding personal topics (i.e., don’t make them your best, closest confidante). A litmus test again is - would you want your spouse or closest friend to read the conversation or would you be comfortable with your spouse having this same conversation with someone of the opposite sex.
Emily: If a person observes that their personal boundaries are being pushed or violated, what steps should they take?
Dr. Rosno: If a person feels their boundaries have been breached in a minor way, I would encourage them to be assertive with the priest/pastor to let them know they feel it’s inappropriate. It may be necessary to put extra distance in the relationship. If the priest is not respectful of those boundaries or responds in a hostile, defensive, or blaming manner, I would consider cutting off the relationship and reporting the concerns to the diocese. If the person feels unsafe addressing their concerns directly with the priest/pastor, I’d recommend going directly to the diocese for direction. If the violations are law violations, I would encourage them to not only contact the diocese but to report to the police as well.
For what it’s worth, I have seen several instances where the tables in this scenario were turned. The parishioner developed an unhealthy relationship with the priest/pastor and pursued a romantic connection - so while the priest/pastor is in the position of authority, they are also often magnets for wounded parishioners or parishioners with personality disorders who are quite skilled at luring people into inappropriate situations and the ensuing drama that they create. So these boundaries can be equally important for the priest to use to protect themselves as they are for the parishioner.
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