Can't do it Perfectly? Do it Anyway

I have very fond memories of our Advent wreath growing up, despite the fact that it was a mess. 

 Mom would put the shedding plastic evergreen wreath on the sticky dining room table and turn off the lights. We'd squabble over whose turn it was to light the melted, misshapen candles, but at last the appropriate number of candles would be lit to a discordant chorus of, "The Light of the World is Jesus!!" 

We would then sit more or less quietly and listen to Dad read the mass reading for the day...though once he misread which readings were assigned. Instead of listening to Christ's coming prosphisied in Isaiah, we listened as a woman named Judith lulled a man to sleep then 'stabbed him with a sword, and he was so fat that it disappeared into his stomach.' 

I'm sure my parents had a more tranquil experience in mind when they started the tradition. The ideal Advent wreath is a time of quiet prayer and reflection, not a time to wrestle for candle lighting duty and snag a front row seat to a Biblical gore fest.

But I'm very thankful that they kept the tradition despite the missteps. I have beautiful memories of the candles lit in the dark room, casting warm light on the faces of my family and throwing the room into shadow. The palpable feeling of gathering around a small light in the darkness, and of waiting and expectation, remains a strong memory for me. 

If my parents had given up on the wreath in response to the chaos, or had tried to force us into a precise model of what they had in mind, we would have missed out on so much. We were expected to be respectful as far as we were able to be, but we weren't expected to fit a particular mold of behavior. Our family prayer time was far from perfect, but it still managed to impart the solminity of the season and to help us prepare our hearts for Christmas. It was worth doing imperfectly.

Now that I have my own children, the realization that many things will never be perfect has enabled me to do so much that I would just give up on otherwise. 

There are some traditions that simply don't fit our family's circumstances in their current form. Much as I might like to, praying around a traditional Advent wreath currently isn't a good fit for our family. We don't have room to store or display it in our tiny house. 

But just because I can't do it in its ideal form doesn't mean that I can't do it at all. The other day, my three year old and I created a paper wreath with construction paper and poster board. We unfortunately can't light it on fire without burning the house down, but at the beginning of each week we'll add a paper candle to mark the passage of time, and we'll talk about Advent and what it means. 

It isn't as perfect as a 'real' wreath. My children won't get the memory of the light burning in the darkness. But my son enjoyed creating it, and there's value in using it to mark the passage of time between now and Christmas. It fits what our family can do at this point in time. Hopefully someday we'll be able to do a real wreath, but for now this works. 

What are some things you find worth doing imperfectly?

Comments

  1. I love this post ❤️❤️❤️ Very encouraging as a mom who maybe likes the order and peace of a silent and monastically reverent prayer time a little too much, lol. It gives me hope that my children have fond memories of our "best that we can" prayer traditions. Thank you!!

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