The Black Hole of the Refrigerator

I have a dream.

I have a dream that one day, all food within the fridge, that white metal cabinet of cool possibility, will have a purpose.

I have a dream, that no leftovers shall fester, no half used cans of tomato sauce shall mold, and no cucumbers shall disintegrate into spongy pulp and white slime.

I have a dream that the meat drawer won't harbor a film of dried salmonella juice on the bottom, that I'll actually do something with those random jars of whey and broth, and that the jar of bacon fat will stay full longer than a month.

I have a dream.

I have a dream that the ancient, half used bag of ground flax seed and the salsa jar of chia seeds in the pantry will find a useful purpose for their existence.

I have a dream that the three or so bottles of BBQ sauce we've managed to collect will magically man up, and stop tasting like mere smoky corn syrup so I can actually use them.

And I dare even hope I will find a use for that gallon of pumpkin puree and those five bags of spinach in the freezer.

This is my dream, this is my hope, this is my prayer.

Seriously guys, what do you do with that much BBQ sauce?!